Bela Black Strikes Back

Archive for the ‘Behaviors’ category

1 – If you’re a sword swallower, talented deep-throater or carnival side-show – swallow an Umbrella

2 – Have sex with vegetables, tear the wall of your innards and have oxygen flow through your arteries and into your heart

3 – Getting killed by a Vending Machine; (damn I’m lucky to be alive) – Fighting with a vending machine has caused several deaths. The machines weigh between 600-1000 lbs., are TOP HEAVY and you only need to tilt it 20% to make it fall over.

4 – Hyponatremia – Drinking an excessive amount of water can cause your sodium levels to drop to fatal amount resulting in an excruciating death

5 – Falling into a meat grinder and getting your legs stuck, slowly bleeding and grinding to death over a weeks time while flies lay maggots into your skin.

6 – Scaphism, also known as the boats, was an ancient Persian method of execution designed to inflict torturous death. The name comes from the Greek word skaphe, meaning “scooped (or hollowed) out”.

The naked person was firmly fastened within a back-to-back pair of narrow rowing boats (or a hollowed-out tree trunk), with the head, hands, and feet protruding. The condemned was forced to ingest milk and honey to the point of developing severe diarrhea, and more honey would be rubbed on his body in order to attract insects to the exposed appendages. He or she would then be left to float on a stagnant pond or be exposed to the sun. The defenseless individual’s feces accumulated within the container, attracting more insects, which would eat and breed within his or her exposed and increasingly gangrenous flesh. The feeding would be repeated each day in some cases to prolong the torture, so that dehydration or starvation did not provide him or her with the release of death. Death, when it eventually occurred, was probably due to a combination of dehydration, starvation and septic shock. Delirium would typically set in after a few days.

7 – The Brazen Bull, The brazen bull, bronze bull, or the Sicilian bull is a torture and execution device designed in ancient Greece. Perillos of Athens, a brass-founder, proposed to Phalaris, the tyrant of Akragas, Sicily, the invention of a new means for executing criminals.

Accordingly, he cast a bull, made entirely of brass, hollow, with a door in the side. The condemned were shut in the bull and a fire was set under it, heating the metal until it became yellow hot and causing the person inside to roast to death.

8 – Getting Stabbed in the Face by a Blue Marlin:
You’re in Florida, it’s sunny and 90º, and you just hooked a huge blue marlin on your fishing trip. You fight the fish for an hour, it’s gigantic, you have it right next to the boat and you’re about to catch it. You’re gonna stuff the son of a bitch and put it above your fireplace, your life is pretty sweet. Bam!!! The fish launches out of the water with a ferocious leap and stabs you right in the dome! You die.

9 – Death by Chocolate or.. Falling into a vat of hot chocolate – Vincent Smith II, 29, was dumping raw chocolate into the vat for melting when he fell in from a nine-foot high platform. He suffered a fatal blow to the head from the vat’s agitator, a paddle-like mechanism used for stirring the chocolate.

10 – Death from eating Nails .. a condition called pica, an eating disorder defined as the “persistent eating of non-nutritive substances”

Obviously the ingestion of nails can cause internal organs to rupture and cause internal bleeding and infection. This has been a reported problem for people with mental problems and mineral deficiencies including pregnancy.

I dare you to google this

January 24th, 2010

“flip bust a move”

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Just when you thought crocs were the ugliest shoe possible. Yes they have been knocked out of the #1 spot and replaced by this horrid creation click here if you’re brave.

On November 9, 1989, thousands rushed through the ruins of the Berlin Wall, celebrating the unity of East and West. 20 years later, millions across the world watched as one thousand seven-and-a-half foot tall dominoes fell marking the occasion.

About six months ago, those Styrofoam dominoes were sent all around to world and painted by school children and artists. Today they were reunited in a 1.5km line where the Berlin Wall once stood. And just like the wall did so many years ago, they fell to deafening cheers.

This is a really cool fun, time consuming activity. I have been doing it while giving tech support/advice to friends and customers (for some reason my logic works better if I am not focusing directly on the conversation/issue).

Here is the link: Canon Papercraft

So far I have only built the Toucan but there are plenty of weird little creatures, luck charms, architectural objects to choose from.

Watch out locals, Cambridge Massechusettes is getting pretty freaky!

A female patron of Whole Foods located on Alewife Brook Parkway who happened to be wearing high-heels was approached by a man with a rather odd request, he asked to take photos of her feet. After an obvious agreement on the woman’s part the man then proceeded to kiss and lick her right foot. After the very strange assault, the woman reported the man to local police who are now on the look-out for the alleged out of control foot fetish fiend.

Catch the local news story here – wickedlocal.com

Wow, this guy can catch a laptop with his butt! I didn’t know this was possible. I hope the practice for this doesn’t involve toilet paper or lubrication!

This awe-some cake is just making my stomach rumble! Look at the neat icing work and the clever screen cap of a txt file from Mac’s built in voice-actress robot Victoria saying ‘You are my hero, Thank You’.

macbook-pro-cake

I have been watching these creations for a while now and I am going to try out my cake skills on the next holiday.

for more photos > (more…)

Just ran across this, sadly it reminded me of people I know (haha) YES I have had someone tell me the same thing as this letter outlines from the opposing party. Fortunately I did not retort with so much of this anger (how out-of-character for me).

________________________________________________________________________

I’ve always hated the idea of Home Owner’s Associations, so this exchange of letters sent glee through my little, vindictive heart.

Christopher and Heather XXXX
XXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX
Boone, NC 28607

Dear Mr. and Mrs. XXXXX

We are writing to you as members of the Evergreen Homeowner’s Association about a concern that has occupied all our minds since you moved into this neighborhood. We are a congregate group of good Christian and God fearing people. The display you have set up on the outer section of your lot has us a bit concerned as the statue appears to be a type of Pagan worshipping symbol, unlike the other lawn decorations in our neighborhood. Shirley Whitley, a neighbor of yours says that this is a Satanic being and that you may be involved in the Occult. We have all noticed strange goings on around the neighborhood. There are flashing lights in the sky and numerous dead animals in the road. We understand that you are a homeowner, but if you will read your declaration of restrictions, obscene or vulgar displays on your property are not allowed. We insist that you remove this questionable display at once. Our children are not to be influenced by Devil worship and deviant behavior.

Ardna Tyne
For the Evergreen Homeowners Association

And now for the flame injected response.
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