Bela Black Strikes Back

Archive for the ‘Insanity’ category

1 – If you’re a sword swallower, talented deep-throater or carnival side-show – swallow an Umbrella

2 – Have sex with vegetables, tear the wall of your innards and have oxygen flow through your arteries and into your heart

3 – Getting killed by a Vending Machine; (damn I’m lucky to be alive) – Fighting with a vending machine has caused several deaths. The machines weigh between 600-1000 lbs., are TOP HEAVY and you only need to tilt it 20% to make it fall over.

4 – Hyponatremia – Drinking an excessive amount of water can cause your sodium levels to drop to fatal amount resulting in an excruciating death

5 – Falling into a meat grinder and getting your legs stuck, slowly bleeding and grinding to death over a weeks time while flies lay maggots into your skin.

6 – Scaphism, also known as the boats, was an ancient Persian method of execution designed to inflict torturous death. The name comes from the Greek word skaphe, meaning “scooped (or hollowed) out”.

The naked person was firmly fastened within a back-to-back pair of narrow rowing boats (or a hollowed-out tree trunk), with the head, hands, and feet protruding. The condemned was forced to ingest milk and honey to the point of developing severe diarrhea, and more honey would be rubbed on his body in order to attract insects to the exposed appendages. He or she would then be left to float on a stagnant pond or be exposed to the sun. The defenseless individual’s feces accumulated within the container, attracting more insects, which would eat and breed within his or her exposed and increasingly gangrenous flesh. The feeding would be repeated each day in some cases to prolong the torture, so that dehydration or starvation did not provide him or her with the release of death. Death, when it eventually occurred, was probably due to a combination of dehydration, starvation and septic shock. Delirium would typically set in after a few days.

7 – The Brazen Bull, The brazen bull, bronze bull, or the Sicilian bull is a torture and execution device designed in ancient Greece. Perillos of Athens, a brass-founder, proposed to Phalaris, the tyrant of Akragas, Sicily, the invention of a new means for executing criminals.

Accordingly, he cast a bull, made entirely of brass, hollow, with a door in the side. The condemned were shut in the bull and a fire was set under it, heating the metal until it became yellow hot and causing the person inside to roast to death.

8 – Getting Stabbed in the Face by a Blue Marlin:
You’re in Florida, it’s sunny and 90º, and you just hooked a huge blue marlin on your fishing trip. You fight the fish for an hour, it’s gigantic, you have it right next to the boat and you’re about to catch it. You’re gonna stuff the son of a bitch and put it above your fireplace, your life is pretty sweet. Bam!!! The fish launches out of the water with a ferocious leap and stabs you right in the dome! You die.

9 – Death by Chocolate or.. Falling into a vat of hot chocolate – Vincent Smith II, 29, was dumping raw chocolate into the vat for melting when he fell in from a nine-foot high platform. He suffered a fatal blow to the head from the vat’s agitator, a paddle-like mechanism used for stirring the chocolate.

10 – Death from eating Nails .. a condition called pica, an eating disorder defined as the “persistent eating of non-nutritive substances”

Obviously the ingestion of nails can cause internal organs to rupture and cause internal bleeding and infection. This has been a reported problem for people with mental problems and mineral deficiencies including pregnancy.

This is a really cool fun, time consuming activity. I have been doing it while giving tech support/advice to friends and customers (for some reason my logic works better if I am not focusing directly on the conversation/issue).

Here is the link: Canon Papercraft

So far I have only built the Toucan but there are plenty of weird little creatures, luck charms, architectural objects to choose from.

Watch out locals, Cambridge Massechusettes is getting pretty freaky!

A female patron of Whole Foods located on Alewife Brook Parkway who happened to be wearing high-heels was approached by a man with a rather odd request, he asked to take photos of her feet. After an obvious agreement on the woman’s part the man then proceeded to kiss and lick her right foot. After the very strange assault, the woman reported the man to local police who are now on the look-out for the alleged out of control foot fetish fiend.

Catch the local news story here – wickedlocal.com

Wow, Pee-wee’s big adventure came out in 1985. Which is probably when these wonderful people started collecting bikes. What a collection! And they even have Pee-Wee’s Bike!!! Wait, what happened to Paul Reuben anyway?

bicycle-collection

GUANGZHOU, China — An employee at a factory that makes iPhones in China killed himself after a prototype went missing, and Apple Inc. responded Wednesday by saying its suppliers are required to treat workers with dignity and respect.

Sun was responsible for sending iPhone prototypes to Apple, and on July 13 he reported that he was missing one of the 16 fourth-generation units in his possession, the newspaper reported. His friends said company security guards searched his apartment, detained him and beat him, the paper reported.

iphone-mega

The prototype was later found in the hands of Apple enthusiast Edward Green of Munich, Germany. He claimed to have purchased it on craigslist from some guy out of Africa, “they paid me to take it” he stated – “all I had to do was cash a few travelers checks and send 75% of the money back, I still can’t believe it!”.

Bacon flavored Vodka

May 21st, 2009

Further proof that you’re all a bunch of canibals!

Make sure your stomach is in stable status before looking here

http://bakonvodka.com

Bakon Vodka Recipes

Squeeze Bacon AKA Pig Slime

April 1st, 2009

Pig Piglet Pork Swine Bacon Ham Riblet Hocks Chops Sausage Souse Fat Back Rinds Cracklins Feet Brains Snouts Pickled Fried BBQ or whatever.

Ew, its chopped up minced and just plain mashed up dead pig in a bottle. Further proof that Swedish peoplez love scat and no I ain’t talking about singing.

squeeze-bacon1

Promotional Video from thinkgeek.com


Pretty gross if you ask me, but hey what do I know ?

EWwww This is just NASTAY!

Hope you enjoy’d! Don’t forget to wash your neck!


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