10 – the website, ‘two girls, one cup’ came up on your browsing history, is that a kids site?
9 – I’m sorry but your account has been deactivated, please see your manager.
8 – How did you do that?
7 – I’ll be out for the rest of the week
6 – we found another zombie on the network and it’s IP matches your computer
5 – the core router is dead and we can’t it replaced until tomorrow
4 – we are performing an emergency maintenance, your email will be back in a few hours
3 – oops, I didn’t mean to press that button
2 – your email to your girlfriend got caught in the spam filter but don’t worry, I unblocked her for you *giggles*
1 – we lost all of your data